Are you depressed? Need Help?

Are you depressed? Do you feel hopeless?

When depression strikes, it can render you useless, in a state where you may feel that suicide is the only way out. Here at MISANTHROPAGANDA,  a suicide hotline has been created to help those who find themselves in that very dark moment... I want you to know that there is someone out there ready to hear you out and talk you through this rough moment.

Just call:

1-(800)-SUICIDE

We’ve all been there before, with the gun at your temple, or the razor at your wrist, but fear has kept you from going off into the unknown. At the MISANTHROPAGANDA suicide hotline, we can give you that added push you need to make abstract art on your bedroom walls with your brains.

Running out of ideas on how to snuff it? No resources? Not to worry! Our trained phone counselors can provide over 120 different ways to off yourself using common household items. Operators are standing by...

Call us up now! Come on, baby, Don’t fear the Reaper! You’re not getting any younger, and surely this life doesn’t get any better, so just take your final bow, and call us now…

1-(800)-SUICIDE

And remember kids, Sideways gets you the attention, but Longways gets you results!